It's half past nine and I've only just been able to eat something. The KFC we had earlier didn't stay in very long! What a waste of a day. I haven't done anything I wanted to today, such as the food shopping, present wrapping, and wedding invitation making. I didn't make it over to my parents as planned so I've now let them down as well as my fiance and they know exactly why I couldn't go over was because I was hungover. Dad sad that I didn't sound like my usual chirpy self. I hate the fact that they know I get into such a state. I guess I will just have to write today off and start again tomorrow.
Luckily my fiance has forgiven me for causing so much trouble last night but I can't help thinking that this has happened one time too many and that he looks at me with a hint of hate sometimes. How can things between us ever be pure? I want to be able to stand in front of him at the altar a good person. I feel like I've hurt him so much. I'm suprised he is still with me to be honest. I don't know how much one person can take. Hopefully on our wedding day we will be able to put all of the bad times behind us and it will be a fresh start.
I've been looking for jobs today as I'm too embarassed to go back in on Monday. I imagine I will probably get the sack anyway for my bad behaviour at the party and for making a show of myself and my boss and for disrespecting the fact that it was a work function. Big no no. Luckily a work colleague said she was feeling equally rough so maybe everybody was the same level of drunkness and hopefully I'm just blowing things out of proportion in my mind. Finger's crossed someone else did something more embarassing after I had left which will overshadow my actions.
How am I feeling today? Mortified. Let's hope tomorrow I can start to feel a little more positive and forgive myself. Church should help. It usually makes me feel better. Or maybe when I wake up tomorrow it will all have been one big dream. I wish.
No comments:
Post a Comment