That dreaded time of year

So it's that dreaded time of year again.... Christmas party season. While most people look forward to it, this is the one time of year I absolutely dread. Why, you ask? I don't do alcohol. It's not that I don't like the taste, or the feeling of relaxation that hits you as soon as you take the first sip. It's because me and alcohol don't mix. It doesn't like me and I don't like the person I become when I drink it. Even 1 or 2 glasses of wine leave me low and depressed for the whole of the next day and I begin to hate myself. So you can only imagine how I'm feeling today after a major drinking session at my company Christmas Do. Flashbacks of dirty dancing on the dancefloor with colleagues and acting like I was something off of Strictly Come Dancing, knocking over glasses that shattered everywhere, and leaving my handbag unattended with my mobile merrily ringing away going unanswered (my fiance had kindly driven for an hour to come and get me and had been outside for half an hour before I realised). Today I'm filled with embarassment, resentment and suicidal thoughts.Oh by the way did I mention that by the time we'd got to bed at 4am this morning I'd manage to have the wedding called off, threatened to kill myself and punched myself in the head several times as punishment for behaving so carelessly. This is what drinking does to me and not anywhere is this advertised on the labels. Alcohol is poison, a drug and I want to make others aware of this before they end up like me. It's not a one off, this is usually how my nights out end up. Well, today, I've made the decision that enough is enough. I am giving up alcohol for good. I can't do this anymore. Not to myself nor to my poor beloved fiance who has suffered with the aftermath for nearly four years now. Alcohol ruins lives. Today is the first day of my life without alcohol and I want to blog my journey to show others it can be done, to show them you don't have to have alcohol to enjoy yourself. I realise that it won't be easy and it will take a lot of willpower not to join in that glass of wine when meeting up with the girlies, or having that glass of bubbly on my special day next Spring. But I can do it, I have to do it. Follow my journey..................